036: Why I'm Not a Therapist

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Today, we're going to talk about why I think couples counseling and therapy didn't really do the trick for me and Kurt, and why it may not for you either. To be clear: I’m not here to talk trash about couples counseling at all. I want to explain why I'm evolving a way of working with couples that is very different from anything that we were ever given. And why I think that that's more powerful.

As you listen to this episode, you'll hear about:

  • The patriarchal roots of traditional psychology and how I use a feminine lens instead

  • Why I am not using my psychology degree to become a licensed therapist

  • The program I created that gives you actionable steps toward a better relationship

  • How you can move from talking to building structure that will support your relationship

  • Why I focus on helping my clients create a legacy of love

And more.  

“I support my clients to build ecosystems where deeper love and hotter sex and sweeter connection are all supported by everything around you”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

HOT MOMENTS IN THIS EPISODE:

  • Why I DON’T want to be an authority figure 3:49

  • How you can improve your relationship in just 30 days 9:38

  • What do I mean by the “itching, burning, swelling dynamic” and how is it affecting you? 11:59

  • What an intimacy coach and a dentist have in common 12:52

  • The BIGGEST relationship challenge of the 21st century 15:44

I hope you find this episode helps you decide what kind of support will make your relationship flourish.  I wish for you to continue on the path to building love that will be a model for generations to come. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

If the conversations on this podcast are resonating for you and you want to create the love, sex, and aliveness you desire with more ease, I invite you to enter a deeper relationship with me, through private coaching or my group mentorship program. Either way, you get powerful tools, conversation cheat sheets, meditations, and my loving and skillful attention every month, so your capacity for the pleasure and joy you want grows, continuously. CLICK HERE to apply for a consultation.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Make More Love 30 Day Game

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about the podcast. Thank you so much!

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033: How to Stay, When to Go

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

The grass always seems greener on the other side, but you never know. It could be artificial. Just like grass, when we look at other people’s relationships we always think they are all rosy and better than what we have. It is tempting to want to quit what you have and go out and find what you think suits you. I have been here. There are days when I contemplated on leaving and go after what I thought was ideal for me, but I’m glad I stayed and worked with Kurt to better our relationship.

If you’re realizing your partner isn’t showing up with the capacity for the love or sex or vibrancy you want, deserve, and need, this episode is you. 

As you listen to this episode, you'll learn:

  • Why it’s so hard to create a vibrant, fully loving, and intimate relationship

  • How Kurt and I leaned into growth in our marriage

  • Indicators that you should stay 

  • Indicators that you should leave

  • How to find contentment in a relationship

And more.

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Society on Mighty Networks.

“Wherever you go, darling. There you are. The suffering you find in this relationship today you will find again, wherever you go inside a relationship or outside of any relationship because these seeds of suffering are uniquely yours. These stories and hurts you carry are your samskaras to heal in this lifetime. These are the knots in your consciousness that you came to unravel, stay untie them right here.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • Why is it so hard to create a really vibrant, fully loving, and intimate relationship? 3:57

  • How Kurt and I have leaned into our growth in our marriage 8:34

  • How to know when to stay and dig into your own work 18:50

  • When to end your relationship and do your growing outside the relationship 25:30

It is my sincere hope that this episode will guide you to decide if you want to stay and dig into your own work or leave and grow outside the relationship.

If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about the podcast. Thank you so much!

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030: Men’s Sexual Trauma

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

If you have a male partner who avoids sex or gets stuck in his head sometimes during sex or about sex this episode is for you.  

If you or your partner struggle with what the industry tends to call “sexual dysfunction” - which is so pejorative - I do not like any of the medical terms at all - from erections that don’t start or that don’t stay, to ejaculating before you’d like to, not ejaculation when you’d expect to… This episode is for you.

If you are or your partner is a man who is comfortable with sex as long as he’s in control or in charge, or as long as the attention is on the other person, not on him, this episode will be helpful.

And really for anyone who is a man, cares about a man, or walks through the world among men, I believe this episode is really important because it talks about something we don’t talk about:  and that’s the underreported, under-discussed epidemic of men’s sexual trauma.

This is such an important episode to me because time and again, my male clients will tell me “I’ve never told anybody about this” or “Nobody explains this the way you just did, and it feels like huge burden has been lifted.”  I’m on a mission to lift that burden, to give that relief, to help as many men as possible to feel seen and understood and that they’re normal and they’re not broken and they’re not alone! 


We’re going to talk about a couple of key things today:

  1.  What sexual trauma is and how common it is among men

  2. The ways sexual trauma is inflicted for men

  3.  Ways the conversation is silenced around men’s sexual trauma

  4. Signs that you or a man you love is having a trauma response in the sexual realm

And more.

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.

“” 

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  1. What does sexual dysfunction mean, anyway?  1:01 

  2. Neglecting their healthy sexual development traumatizes boys and young men  8:28 

  3. The pervasive cultural messages men get about sex, men, and women 10:46 

  4. Do painful experiences make you less a man? 18:36 

  5. If it felt good, does that mean you wanted it?  20:18 

  6. Signs a man is dealing with sexual trauma 22:41

I hope you find this episode helps you see some of your own and your partner’s experiences in a refreshing new light.  I hope it helps you remember your exquisite beauty, divinity, and intrinsic aliveness.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

If you’re suffering from sexual trauma and need help, you can call RAINN (Rape, Abuse, and Incest National Network)’s National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1 (800) 656-4673
Available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week via phone and online chat

If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.


Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

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029: Pro-Man, Anti-Patriarchy

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

We’re diving deep into how patriarchy gets into our relationships and messes with both partners, regardless of what gender everyone is.  This episode is a response to a beautiful letter from a listener.  I look forward to hearing your experiences.  What is the role of male privilege in your relationship?  How does psychological patriarchy affect the intimacy and aliveness in your relationship?  Listen in to hear how I define these terms and what a long-time male listener thought and felt when I said “smash the patriarchy” in an email about a prior episode.  

In this episode we talk about:

  • How psychological patriarchy differs from cultural patriarchy

  • What psychological patriarchy costs women… and what it costs men

  • The grave disservice I’d do in trying to help couples if I didn’t name the power imbalances our culture creates between men and women, large and small people, and people who earn more and their partners who earn less 

  • How privilege leads us to confuse “safety” and “comfort”

And more

Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.

“I wanted to dismantle the psychological patriarchy so that my husband and all the husbands have permission, to be erotic, to have desire, to have emotional hunger, to have vulnerability, to yearn to be comforted, and to flow between states of activity and receptivity of self reliance and have connection. On a day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute basis. I want more fluidity for us all.” 

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • What do I mean by psychological patriarchy 6:10

  • The effect of psychological patriarchy on men and women 7:48

  • Why men wind up blaming their wives for not being happy with them 10:30

  • What patriarchy teaches us 12:50

  • Why I wanted to dismantle the psychological patriarchy 14:04

I wish you the best love and erotic connection that you can imagine. And I would love to hear about it as you create it. My wish for you and for our community is that you'll join the conversation over on the Conscious Couples' Circle at society.lisenbury.com.  It's a great place to ask your questions, share your experiences, and join the conversation about creating the love and sex that you deeply desire in ways that evolve you both. That's all happening at society.lisenbury.com. 

If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.


Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

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028: Strong Women Want To Be Handled

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

If you’re a woman and you feel like you’re always “on”, always have to be handling projects, tasks, and other people’s feelings and needs…. And you just crave to let down, lay back, and have someone else handle it all for YOU now and then… and handle you really well in bed, to boot… This episode is for you.

Or if you love a woman who seems demanding, take-charge, always “on” and seldom satisfied, and you sometimes wonder how you could possibly truly “win” with her… This episode is for you.

In this episode I'm going to share:

  • The epidemic that is leaving many high-achieving women high and dry (if you know what I mean!) feeling under-held and under-handled in bed and in their lives.  

  • Why it’s so hard for women to articulate what they need from their husbands or partners - and why they so often ask for what they want it in a way that leaves their partners feeling criticized

  • Why women often don’t know why they get cranky and dissatisfied, or what they really need, and how I stopped this pattern in myself.

  • The key to handling your wife if you want to skillfully navigate her intensity, especially if it looks like she’s got everything handled, herself.


Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.

"What your woman most needs from you, is what you most need to give. Your strongest, most upright, most penetrating self is in high demand. And if you don't call up the part of you who can absolutely handle her, you will always be afraid. You'll always feel like the wimp or insert your choice of word here that you're afraid she's calling you. You'll always worry that she's looking down on you. You'll always resent her for being more man than you are."

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • How to get it right with strong women 9:30

  • Three camps strong women fall into when it comes to wanting to be handled 12:44

  • What women really need and why 14:50

  • Whose fault is it you can't win with her? 17:43

  • What she most needs from you is what you most need to give 20:22

  • Passing her test with flying colors 21:32

I wish for you the best love and erotic connection that you can imagine. And I would love to hear about it as you create it. My wish for you and for our community is that you'll join the conversation over on the Conscious Couples' Circle at society.lisenbury.com. It's a great place to ask your questions, share your experiences, and join the conversation about creating the love and sex that you deeply desire in ways that evolve you both. That's all happening at society.lisenbury.com.

If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.


NOW IF YOU WANT A COPY OF THIS EBOOK, TO SHARE WITH OTHERS OR TO READ YOURSELF, GO TO LISENBURY.COM/PENETRATE-HER-RECEIVE-HIM, TO DOWNLOAD IT FOR FREE.

CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE FREE AND PRIVATE CONSCIOUS COUPLES’ CIRCLE (IT’S ON MIGHTY NETWORKS, NOT FACEBOOK!). I CREATED THE CONSCIOUS COUPLES’ CIRCLE TO GIVE POWERFUL WOMEN AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM A CONFIDENTIAL, AD-FREE PLACE TO ENGAGE IN THE VITAL CONVERSATIONS WE SEED WITH THE PODCAST EVERY WEEK, AND SO MUCH MORE COMMUNITY SUPPORT FOR GROWING THE HABITS THAT WILL BUILD THE LOVE AND SEX YOU REALLY WANT.

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

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Join the (free) Conscious Couples' Circle

027: Behind The Scenes of Six Months of The Podcast

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

This episode is your peek behind the scenes of the first six months of Sex. Love. Power. 

My last episode was Episode 26.  I didn't realize until after I had recorded it that that means I've been doing this for half a year. And I was talking with a friend about it and she said, "I want to hear all about that. I want to hear about your process. I want to hear what you've learned.  And I don't even know how you set up a podcast or what was involved. So tell us about it." 

So I thought I would.   Today's episode is for you if you're curious about how I launched the podcast... how I think about it. 

In this episode I'm going to share:

  • the story of how I came to name it Sex. Love. Power. and what it was like for me to have sex be the first name of my podcast and some of the things that I was thinking about before that. 

  • a little bit about the tools I use, 

  • how my process for creating an episode goes, 

  • the whole team that's behind getting the episode out into the world and getting you that detailed transcript so that you can really absorb what I'm teaching, if you want, 

  • what tools we use to get that done. 

  • why I don't interview other experts right now

  • why it’s so important to me that we talk about love & sex specifically for high-powered, intense leaders

  • where we're going next. 


Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Society on Mighty Networks.



If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.





CLICK HERE TO JOIN THE FREE AND PRIVATE CONSCIOUS COUPLES’ CIRCLE (IT’S ON MIGHTY NETWORKS, NOT FACEBOOK!). I CREATED THE CONSCIOUS COUPLES’ CIRCLE TO GIVE POWERFUL WOMEN AND THE PEOPLE WHO LOVE THEM A CONFIDENTIAL, AD-FREE PLACE TO ENGAGE IN THE VITAL CONVERSATIONS WE SEED WITH THE PODCAST EVERY WEEK, AND SO MUCH MORE COMMUNITY SUPPORT FOR GROWING THE HABITS THAT WILL BUILD THE LOVE AND SEX YOU REALLY WANT.

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

OTHER WAYS TO ENJOY THIS POST:

Download a Transcript Download on iTunes
Join the (free) Conscious Couples' Circle