EPISODE SHOW NOTES
If you’ve found yourself feeling not-so-into sex - like you yourself never have the urge, and like even when your partner initiates, you’re noooootttt interested… but you wish you were, this episode is for you.
And if you’re the partner who does want to have sex, whether you try to initiate or you’ve heard “huh-uh” so many times you’re too discouraged to ask again… We need to have this conversation.
And I want you to know that even though in movies and on tv shows, everybody seems rarin’ to go, all the dang time -- even the harried sitcom couples with kids coming out their ears -- out here in the real world, you two are not alone if you find that one or both of you are singin’ the “want-to-want-to-but-to-be-honest-I-don’t” blues.
Today’s episode will help because I’m going to introduce you to an important distinction straight out of my Sex Ed for Grownups Course.
This one notion - I call it the 3 Yeses - is responsible for COUNTLESS sexual encounters between married couples and partnered couples that would not have otherwise happened! And you’re next!
It will allow you to go from “no way” to “okay” to “NOW!”
It will allow you to initiate in ways your partner will respond to warmly… and perhaps, given time, with PASSION
And it will give the two of you a better vernacular with which to communicate about your level of willingness to talk about the possibility of having sex.
In this episode we talk about:
Why sex is like exercise, and how we can build and rehabilitate our habits for each
The 3 yeses you and your partner might have, even if you aren’t in full-blown arousal mode
What to do when you’re feeling each level of “yes” AND you recognize that being sexual with your partner would be of value
How to engage with your partner in each state
And more.
Join the conversation by listening, then share your story or response inside our free Conscious Couples’ Circle on Mighty Networks.
“Let yourself be interested. Let yourself kiss and smell and touch and talk and be an eye contact and give and take and allow arousal to come. When it does, we can all take our time and lower the stakes and pressure ourselves less.”
- Michele Lisenbury Christensen
This recognition of the Three Different Yeses we might have for sex helps my 1:1 clients and members of the Legacy Love Studio to find their way to one another and connect erotically even when both of them are just at the willing place. Sharing pleasure begets more sharing pleasure. So it always behooves us to find the yes we can find and to discern what yes our partner may have. When we blow on those embers, that’s how we fan the flames of shared pleasure and desire.
So please, apply what you’ve learned here in your own relationship and I’d love to hear about what arises. I wish you an amazing connection and delicious turn-on with your partner, amid your beautiful, busy lives. Every one of these yeses is worth cultivating and celebrating!
My wish for you and for our community is that you'll join the conversation over on the Conscious Couples' Circle at society.lisenbury.com. It's a great place to ask your questions, share your experiences, and join the conversation about creating the love and sex that you deeply desire in ways that evolve you both. That's all happening at society.lisenbury.com.
So please, apply what you’ve learned here in your own relationship and I’d love to hear about what arises. I wish you an amazing connection and delicious turn-on with your partner, amid your beautiful, busy lives. Every one of these yeses is worth cultivating and celebrating!
My wish for you and for our community is that you'll join the conversation over on the Conscious Couples' Circle at society.lisenbury.com. It's a great place to ask your questions, share your experiences, and join the conversation about creating the love and sex that you deeply desire in ways that evolve you both. That's all happening at society.lisenbury.com.
If you want to support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.
Click here to listen to this episode.
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