031: Superiority and Shame

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

“We have 2 kids, but I feel like I’m a mother of three, including my husband!”

“Why does he have to talk down to me about the things I struggle with?”

Do either of these sound familiar to you?

Some people find themselves frustrated by a sense their partner is less adult than they are or that their partner is incompetent in some way. 

Others feel that their partner treats them like they’re inferior or broken or bad or wrong.

If you are in either of those groups, this episode is for you. 

These experiences live in more relationships than you probably realize. Very few couples escape experiencing these patterns at some point. I want to give you perspectives and tools that will help when these patterns pop up, either for you or for those you care about.  I want to liberate every relationship from blame and rejection, from criticism and defensiveness. 

I'm going to break down:

  • What's really happening when we feel superior to our partner or we behave in ways that are condescending, 

  • What's really going on when we feel like we have to win our partner's approval or their satisfaction for our relationship to be okay

  • How to get on a more even footing when one of you has shifted into an inferior or superior stance.

And more

“Contempt is not automatic when we are hurt or disappointed; it’s another layer of meaning we assign, where we extrapolate the behavior and our feeling about it into a judgment of the person. ” 

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

In sharing with you what's really going on when you go one up or one down in your relationship, and what to do about it, my intent is to give you the tools to come into an equal footing, a place that's respectful, a place that begins to dismantle some of the pain you might have experienced in this relationship, in past relationships, and in your relationships from the family you grew up in. 


If you want to support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.

Click here to listen to this episode.

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