David Brooks of the New York Times recently wrote an article outlining three views of marriage: The Psychological Lens, the Romantic Lens, and the Moral Lens.
Valentine’s Day, oh, Valentine’s Day. We love you. We hate you. All the potential… all the pressure. Especially in a long-term relationship… very few of which get through 5 or 10 or 20 Februaries without some “Ghosts of Valentines Past” haunting them and making both partners gunshy for the next.
I used to ask him, “how was your day?”
Not that helpful.
When he seemed grumpy or withdrawn, I’d ask him, “What’s going on?”
He’d feel interrogated…. No matter how gentle I’d thought I had sounded.