Podcast — Michele Lisenbury Christensen Coaching & Courses

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063: Strategies for Great Sex

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

How far are you willing to go to create the passionate marriage you want? Are you ready to try anything? If you’re like many of my clients, you’re willing to do whatever it takes to create a connected, turned-on relationship. And I believe you can do it. Unfortunately, there’s no silver bullet that will resolve your conflicts and create closeness. You may have already tried many different strategies but still don’t see the desired results. In today’s episode, I’m going to talk about some of the solutions you can try in your quest to have the kind of love and sex in your marriage that you want.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

  • Different types of strategies you might try when you want more from your marriage

  • The resources and tools my clients or I have used in each of the categories

  • Common issues that arise with each of these strategies

  • What to do when you feel like you’ve tried everything

And more.  

“We have to believe in something that we've never seen in order to bring it about and we have to push through the conventional wisdom of our time in order to create it”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • “Fix us” solutions, vs “fix me” solutions (8:40)

  • Why you feel more responsible for the relationship (11:00)

  • Ways you may be distracting yourself from your deeper desires (14:45)

  • The revolution that you can join right now (20:00)

Wherever you are on this ultimate journey of depth and devotion, and whatever your next step is, I wish you all the best. I want for you the love, sex, pleasure and intimacy with yourself, your partner and the divine that you want..

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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062: Resentment

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

If you feel like you are wasting your time and energy being upset about the same things month after month, year after year, the good news is that there’s a way out. You can break the cycle of hurt and resentment that keeps you from living the life you want. Sound good? Today's episode will equip you to free yourself from any grudge, irritation, frustration, resistance or anger that you may be carrying and take your power back.

In this episode, you’ll hear about:

  • What I've learned about digging into the stuck places in relationships

  • The surprising place where I learned the most powerful tool in my arsenal for discovering what's keeping us stuck.

  • My step-by-step guide to the “resentment remodeling process”

  • How I use the tool in my own life, using a real example (we’re getting real personal!)

And more.  

“Most people want to be fair about their own role in their problems. We want to take responsibility. We want to feel agency and we want to be able to move past what's in the past. The bottom line is though, we never really learned how.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • My tendency to “go hard or go home” (4:49)

  • Why boring tasks are excruciating for your partner with ADD (10:49)

  • How ADD tendencies affect us in bed (12:45)

  • Neurodiversity that you may notice in your relationship (13:42)

My hope is that this tool brings you great peace and helps you return to your power. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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061: Intentional Family Planning

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

In my coaching practice and in my life, I hear so many questions about family planning; how to decide, when to start, and how many kids to have. The list goes on. There are strong societal expectations around becoming parents that can keep us from realizing what we really want and what’s best for us and our relationships. In this episode, I decided to round up my thoughts on some of the common questions I get around children and their effect on relationship that you may be considering

In this episode, we’ll discuss:

  • Understanding and navigating differences in your and your partner’s desire to have kids

  • Deciding if you’re ready to be a parent and what your timeline is

  • How to consider your relationship and lifestyle when starting or growing your family

  • What I did to prepare for our first baby

  • Taking care of the relationship once you have children

And more.  

“It's okay that we grow up alongside our children. I think it's part of the human design that as we're raising a child, we are simultaneously re-parenting the part of ourselves that is the same age as that child.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • My tendency to “go hard or go home” (4:49)

  • Why boring tasks are excruciating for your partner with ADD (10:49)

  • How ADD tendencies affect us in bed (12:45)

  • Neurodiversity that you may notice in your relationship (13:42)

I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

Click here to download a free pdf self-regulation quick guide summarizing the tools mentioned in both episodes and more.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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060: Relationship Stuff That Might Be ADD

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

While I’m not a clinical psychology professional, I often work with couples who have discovered that their brains are wired in completely different ways. This realization often arises when one partner (or both) consistently behaves in a way that creates friction between them, totally baffling the other. As humans, our brains are wonderfully diverse and have unique strengths, but it’s hard to understand what’s going on in your partner’s head when their experience is so different from your own. Today, I’ll share my perspective on recognizing the differences between you and your partner and how those insights can help us see the same patterns in a very different context.

As you listen to this episode, you’ll hear about:

  • How being diagnosed with ADD affected me and my relationship

  • Some of the unique challenges and strengths of partners with ADD

  • Tools and strategies I have used to become a better partner to my “neurotypical” husband

  • How I have seen neurodiversity (including Autism Spectrum Disorder, introversion, and intensities) play out within relationships

  • The importance of taking responsibility for the impact you have on the people around you

And more.  

Note: I use the term “ADD” in this episode to refer to what is now categorized in the DSM-5 as “ADHD predominantly inattentive type” because it is the term used when I was diagnosed.

“If we can take it out of the context of "What’s wrong with you?" and really understand difference, we go a long way to having a much more mutually satisfying relationship. And this kind of insight saves marriages.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • My tendency to “go hard or go home” (4:49)

  • Why boring tasks are excruciating for your partner with ADD (10:49)

  • How ADD tendencies affect us in bed (12:45)

  • Neurodiversity that you may notice in your relationship (13:42)

I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

Click here to download a free pdf self-regulation quick guide summarizing the tools mentioned in both episodes and more.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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059: Sex In An Instant

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

If it feels like you're in a dry spell- your desires don’t match up, you’re not that interested, or it’s hard to transition from your everyday life to a really fulfilling sexual encounter, this episode is for you. Today I want to talk with you about what I think of as "nano sex." It's those little microscopic, erotic connections that create a lubricant in your day-to-day experience together to help us get to full-blown erotic encounters and get more pleasure out of our daily connection. 

As you listen to this episode, you’ll learn:

  • What “nano eroticism” is and how it has benefitted me and my clients

  • How creating small, ongoing erotic connections can increase your desire to have sex

  • Concrete strategies I teach my private clients to help them create more turn on

  • How to combine this practice with other habits for a great relationship

And more. 

“I don't think sex goes away when we get older. Sex goes away when we get busy. Sex goes away when we live with each other for a long time and learn all of each other's foibles. Sex goes away when our insecurities get projected onto a partner.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • Ways to see yourself as an erotic being (6:15)

  • When you think someone else is sexier than your partner (8:16)

  • What is the “eyes habit”? (9:39)

  • Using humor to turn yourself and your partner on (11:28)

I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

Click here to download a free pdf self-regulation quick guide summarizing the tools mentioned in both episodes and more.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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058: Bringing Up a Charged Topic

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

Something your partner did cause you pain and frustration. You want to tell them what hurt you, but you seem to always end up in a fight when you bring it up. Sound familiar? In this episode, I get into the specifics of how you can deliver feedback about something your partner did and what you'd like them to do differently in a way that actually gets results. Every single couple has to have these conversations, but you can develop skills that can reduce the negative fallout and even bring you closer.

As you listen to this episode, you’ll hear about:

  • What NOT to do in an emotionally-charged conversation

  • The steps you can use every time to have conversations that help you feel closer

  • How to remember the point of these conversations when you're in the middle of it

  • Reducing the amount of residual pain that comes from messy conversations

  • Why and how to take ownership of your feelings in a conversation

And more.

“That's a big part of what relationships can do for us. They give us a safe place to work out old feelings”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • Why you shouldn’t “air your grievances” (3:57)

  • How a laminated checklist helped my relationship (9:41)

  • Why you might set a time limit on your conversations (11:08)

  • The “cheap booby prize” you may be taking instead of satifaction (15:02)

I hope that today's podcast can help you have conversations in a more productive way and feel like your pains are actually doorways to more closeness, deeper intimacy and more joy together. And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

Click here to download a free pdf self-regulation quick guide summarizing the tools mentioned in both episodes and more.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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057: Self-Regulation Toolkit Part I: Regulating The Freeze Response [Rebroadcast]

EPISODE SHOW NOTES

If you can find strategies to get back into your body via the senses,
that will get you grounded and calm.

THAT'S WHAT GROUNDING IS.

- Dr. Jessica Pullins

Hot Moments in This Episode:

  • Recognizing when its a state vs when it’s a trait (11:24)

  • When otherwise articulate people lose the ability to speak (13:33)

  • Common triggers of freeze states (16:03)

  • Learning to notice freeze response by noticing it in your partner and others (27:27)

Listen to Episode 7 to hear Part II of the Self-Regulation Toolkit, where we’ll talk more about the fight or flight response, how to regulate when it’s activated, and how to reach the social connection state, where the prefrontal cortex is. online and we can relate and communicate in satisfying ways.

I hope you find this episode helps you see some of your own and your partner’s nervous system responses in a refreshing new light. I hope it helps you remember your exquisite beauty, divinity, and intrinsic aliveness.  And may the light within you illuminate the world around you.

Click here to download a free pdf self-regulation quick guide summarizing the tools mentioned in both episodes and more.

 

Click here to listen to this episode.

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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056: Time Alone Together Ambivalence

056: Time Alone Together Ambivalence

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

Do you find yourself saying, "We're so busy, I feel like roommates?” Or maybe you say, "We know we need to go on dates, but we never seem to get around to it. And then if we do go, a lot of times we get into a fight." Today on Sex. Love. Power., we're talking about spending more time together. Whether that's talking, having fun, or getting naked together. We're going to cover how to recognize the resistance so you can break through those totally understandable obstacles and actually get more closeness and heat between you.

As you listen to this episode, we’ll talk about:

  • Why time alone together matters for your relationship in the long-term

  • The reasons you don’t spend time together, even if you know you should

  • How to keep alone time from turning into a conflict

  • The habits that are keeping you from truly connecting and new ones you can form

“We need to have more fun together. In order to help us resolve some of these conflicts. It's not the other way around, where we have to resolve these conflicts before we can have fun together.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in this Episode

  • The six reasons time together can be uncomfortable [5:44]

  • What to do if you don’t have anything to talk about together [8:51]

  • Why you are disappointed with the time you spend with your partner [13:23]

  • Why you might want to start with being alone with yourself first [17:05]

I hope that you are inspired to experiment with these ideas just a little bit, and then build from there so that you can give and receive more joy or pleasure and more care.

Click here to listen to the episode!

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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055: Dominance and Submission

055: Dominance and Submission

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

Do you feel like you're always in charge, like you're always handling all the heavy lifting in your shared life? Or do you ever feel your partner can be so controlling or perfectionistic that you tend to hang back? Both of these situations are issues of what I call polarity - the interaction between dominance and submission (and, no, I’m not just talking about in bed). If you want to go from frustration and jockeying for position, or avoiding conflict, over to playful, effective interactions sizzling with energy, this is the episode for you.

In this episode you’ll learn:

  • How the dynamics of dominance and submission play out in everyday life

  • What can go wrong when you’re missing polarity

  • The three keys to creating an arc of polarity in your relationship

  • How to get more of the energy you want from yourself and your partner

  • How you can tell if you’re in the dominant or submissive role

“We tend to reject so many of the sensations of aliveness that arise because we put them in that box that we label ‘bad sensations.’ So tear the label off that box and follow the sensations that are arising now.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in this Episode

  • The three mistakes nice guys make [4:16]

  • How your marriage is like a pair of magnets [6:00]

  • How to speak in a penetrating way [8:29]

  • When your partner’s standard for you is too oppressive [10:39]

I hope that whether you are choosing to lead or to follow, you use these keys to polarity to create delicious connections and deeper love.

Click here to listen to the episode!

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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054: Defensiveness

054: Defensiveness in Love & Sex

Sex.Love.Power.: The intimacy podcast for powerful women & those who love them

I want to devote a whole episode to the topic of defensiveness: how we engender it in each other, and why we get defensive ourselves. This is one of the biggest things I see stopping couples from communicating effectively, from connecting more deeply, and from experiencing more turn-on and erotic charge in their relationships. So if you've had defensiveness on either side of the conversation, this episode is for you.

In this episode we’ll cover:

  • Reasons you get defensive- whether it’s stemming from you or from your partner

  • What to do when your partner or someone else seems defensive.

  • What to do when you feel unfairly attacked or accused

  • How to calm down when either of you has gotten defensive

“It's a tremendous challenge and opportunity to be fresh in today's conversation, rather than to call up that whole library of painful experiences that everybody, even in a good relationship, has over years and years together, because you're both human.”

- Michele Lisenbury Christensen 

Hot Moments in this Episode

  • Why you should celebrate when defensiveness comes up [5:37]

  • One of the best tools for dismantling defensiveness when bringing up an issue [15:25]

  • Signs that your partner may be becoming defensive [17:35]

  • What happens when you “throw in the kitchen sink” [26:40]

I wish for every couple listening today is to be able to talk about the most tender things, the most raw things, the deepest reactions you have to one another because those contain the gold of both your personal evolutions and the most intimate relationship that you can possibly have with each other.

Click here to listen to the episode!

Subscribe & Review in iTunes Now

Are you subscribed to my podcast? If you’re not, I want to encourage you to do that today. I don’t want you to miss an episode. I’m adding a bunch of bonus episodes to the mix and if you’re not subscribed there’s a good chance you’ll miss out on those. Click here to subscribe in iTunes!

Now if you’re feeling ultra-loving, I would be profoundly grateful if you left a review for me over on iTunes, too. 

5-star reviews help more women find my podcast -  and thereby have better love  and sex - and your review will also be so fun for me to go in and read!  Totally your good deed for the day!  Just click here to review, select “Ratings and Reviews” and “Write a Review” and let me know your favorite thing about  the podcast. Thank you so much!

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