EPISODE SHOW NOTES
Conversations that go sideways are almost always ill-fated before they even begin. And the majority of those we could pretty easily predict will go badly do so because of one common factor: POOR TIMING. One of you was not ready to have THAT conversation right THEN. And nobody asked about this. Or they did ask whether it was a good time, but they didn’t like the answer, so they went ahead anyway! I’ve been guilty of that, myself. And always lived to regret it!
So today I’m out to eliminate some of those regrets from all our lives by talking about how to time a conversation, how to ask “is now a good time?” and what to do when someone asks you that. Then we’ll look at how to deal with your partner’s response and what becomes possible inside your relationship and inside each of you when you build this skill.
We're going to talk about
Four big reasons we resist choosing a good time for a conversation
What becomes possible when we create well-timed conversations with full consent from both parties
How you can ask for a good time to talk and how to deal with getting a reply of "not now" if that's maybe a little hard to hear (I know it is for me!)
How to say "not now," if that's the right thing for you, and how to know when it IS
How to get through the urge to talk before your partner's ready, and
How to ensure that you do circle back to an important conversation if there's one that's waiting to happen.
And more. By the end of this episode, you're going to feel clearer and more confident about communicating with your partner, creating powerful conversations simply by having them when you're both ready.
Join the conversation by listening, then share your story, response, or questions inside our free Conscious Couples Circle on Mighty Networks. You can also join us live inside the Conscious Couples’ Circle for our weekly Episode Soiree. Details are inside the Circle. C’mon over!
"If you're holding wisdom that this isn't a good time, hold your ground. Do not be coerced into the conversation."
- Michele Lisenbury Christensen
Hot Moments in This Episode:
Why do we resist choosing a good time for a conversation? 2:17
4 good reasons reasons we can’t help but ambush our partners, ready or not, with topics we want to talk about 2:35
How the 32 Degree Rule stops us from having conversations when we’re too upset (and from putting them off too long!) 3:13
How do I ask my partner for a conversation? How do I know whether it's a good time to talk? And how do we get to an agreement? And what do I do if my partner says no? 11:45
Why your partner resists having the conversation you think is so important and urgent 14:05
How to circle back if your partner said “we can talk about this later” but they haven’t brought it back up 16:59
Thank you so much for listening. I'm Michele Lisenbury Christensen. We’d love to have your stories and questions enriching the community over on Conscious Couples’ Circle. It’s a great place to get specific tips, share your experiences, and join the larger conversation about creating the love and sex we deeply desire in ways that evolve you both. It’s all happening at society.lisenbury.com. That link is in the shownotes at lisenbury.com/episode/022.
RESOURCES MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Episodes 6: Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 1
Episodes 7: Self-Regulation Toolkit Part 2
If you want support and guidance from me to create the kind of love and s€x you dream of having, and to clear out any muck that blocks you from that experience, reach out.
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