If you can imagine more pleasure, more intimacy, more aliveness... It's because you need it.  But since no one's taught us to have the kind of love we long for, even amazing people with amazing lives wind up with relationships that aren’t as amazing as they could be. But that ends here. Your relationship can become its absolute best possible iteration and I can help.

I offer coaching for individuals and for couples, plus online courses, all to help you create the love and sex you want.

Whether you desire less conflict, more excitement, better communication, or new confidence, I'll help you create it.  And even though we're working on your relationship, you don't BOTH necessarily have to work with me.

IS THIS FOR YOU?

People work with me on their own when they're:

- Dating and wanting a better experience and results

- Trying to decide whether to leave a relationship or work on it, and how to do either

- Working through a divorce or its aftermath

- Ready to develop more confidence, self-awareness, and skill in some area of sexuality, relationship, pleasure, receptivity, or communication

- Or wanting to create better love & intimacy in a relationship, when they’re partner isn’t interested in coaching (or ready for it, just yet).

As a couple, you might come to this work together when you want a trusted ally to help you:

- Take your excellent relationship to another level of intimacy, pleasure, peace, and joy

- Fight less and feel more heard, understood, respected and cherished

- Make sex deeper, more fun, and easier to get to, talk about, ask for, decline, or embrace

- Parent together in a satisfying way, even through turbulent chapters

- Adjust to a change that's disrupted the way you relate  (for example: a new child, an infidelity, extended-family or financial circumstances, a health situation, or newfound clarity about what one or both of you want)

- Shed your inherited patterns - from our culture or your families - and create "our way" of relating, communicating, deciding, and giving and receiving love

HOW coaching with me WORKs

• We start with identified goals. I help you discern patterns and skill gaps that get in the way, plus the habits and approaches that will accelerate your progress. We track and touch base on progress monthly.It's flexible. I work with individuals and with couples, on both 1:1 and 1:2 calls. You each have a habit you’re workin on for the month and I give you video training modules to support your learning.
  

• It's convenient. Most of my work is via Zoom conference or phone, but I also meet with clients at my home office in N. Seattle and occasionally elsewhere. I mainly work during the day on weekdays, but also make some evening times available if that's essential.
  

• You make a decision, then rest into it. Once you've chosen to work with me and set your goals, we're in the express lane and you don't have to decide, "should we get off at this exit?" Your goals will tell you when you're done, and like all good things, settling into the changes is the best way to get lasting results. That’s why we establish a rhythm of sessions and outside-session support and we KEEP GOING for a year initially. This work makes a big difference, and often quite quickly, but part of what drives our success is commitment: I'm "all in" from day one, and my clients get very committed within the first session or two. Some people come to me wanting "just enough" to reduce their suffering, but after the first session, if that's still all they want, I share resources other than my coaching with them.
  

• I'm direct, directive, fiercely loving, and I'll go to the mat with both of you. We'll waste no time with "just listening" or leaving you in the muck once we've identified what's not working. I'll show you concrete, effective ways out, and I'll tell you straight-up what you need to stop (and start) doing to create what you want. No "neutral 3rd party" here: I'll share specific feedback with both of you. It's refreshing and very effective.
  

• We maintain focus. We track your goals and identify behaviors we all agree will move the dial in creating those outcomes. You get accountable inside your relationship the way you've perhaps been at work or with your trainer, but probably never before in love. I won't let you drift if you lose the thread of what we're building. When things go better, you know why, and when they don't, you know what created the problem.
  

• We buckle up and stick it out, and we're glad we did. Elsewhere, most couples’ counseling sessions get scheduled “when we need it” so people stop going as son as their discomfort subsides enough (my husband and I did this too!).

  Instead, in my work, we take it on like any other life transformation or advanced mentorship program: as a meaningful commitment. We meet at least twice a month for 12 months to create meaningful, durable change. After that, we finish what we started and/or then we graduate to periodic tune-ups.
  
  You pay for coaching by the month and we keep meeting in service of your goals, even if you have a busy month or go on a trip or are "doing better." That way, we never lose momentum, and you never lose track of what you're working on. Variable enthusiasm for the process is expected, but should never be confused with being "done" or the process "not working."

• Your commitment is to your desires, not to me. While I ask you to stay with your own growth process, you can quit coaching with me any time if it's not serving your goals, without pressure or financial penalty.

TWO WAYS TO WORK:

RELATIONSHIP COACHING FOR COUPLES

During the first year, the three of us meet for one session per month (with another 30 minute session for each of you individually).  You’ll also each have a personal focus, an individualized learning module, and weekly check-ins with me. This is a by-your-side, concierge-level service.

how to learn more and get started

Regardless which program you choose, we start with a consultation session.  We get a genuine sample of what it's like to work together.  The first time we meet, I want to learn about you, your desires, and your current situation.  

I ask a number of questions up front, starting when you schedule.  In our call, I'm both curious AND directive: I listen a lot but I also make observations, translate what you're not hearing from your partner (whether they're on the call or not) and teach perspectives that will make a big difference in your results.

You'll walk away from this first session with at least one concrete outcome: clarity on a decision, language for what you need to say, new understanding of a dynamic or pattern, or a plan for creating something new.  

If you want to explore working with me with your partner, your first call can just be for yourself or it can be for you both.  I save some time to share what I'm hearing about your relationship, what you want, the skills you'll need to learn, and how I'd help you reach your goals.  

COACHING FEES & PAYMENT

I work with clients in a committed way.  Relationship services are seldom reimbursed by health insurance.  Some companies' employee assistance programs will pay or reimburse for coaching.  
You can expect profound results with a year-long commitment; many clients work with me intensely for one year and then ongoingly at a less-intense pace for several (or many) years with monthly, quarterly, or semi-annual sessions or private retreats.

INDIVIDUAL coaching RETAINER:

$1200 monthly investment. Our monthly work together includes

• two private hour-long coaching sessions OR four 30 minute coaching sessions per month

• email, phone, text, and Voxer connection in between sessions

• access to my extensive library of personal and professional development tools and practices

• Invitations to private events I facilitate for clients such as guided meditations and seasonal celebrations

  Longer sessions and more sessions will be prorated as needed.

Relationship coaching RETAINER:

$2000 monthly retainer. One year commitment. Our monthly work together includes

• two couples’ sessions for the two of you

• two private sessions for each of you

• a single habit for each of you to focus on daily

• a hand-selected learning module for each of you, relevant to your focus for the month

• email, phone, text, and Voxer connection in between sessions.

  Longer sessions and more sessions will be prorated as needed.

THE GREAT PASSIONATE SEX (GPS) NAVIGATION SYSTEM
FOR CREATING LIFELONG PASSION:

$9000 investment, with payment plans available as needed.
Here’s a roadmap of the three phases of this system: CHOOSE, UNSTICK, and EXPAND:

Simply put, we walk together through all 3 phases:

• CHOOSE: Choosing to create a conscious connection vs. marriage by default

• UNSTICK: Precisely pinpointing and addressing the obstacles that have stopped you from creating the intimacy you want in past rounds of sex therapy or couples counseling or with books or workshops or anything else you’ve tried

• EXPAND: Growing your relationship skillset so you can connect more deeply, embody aliveness, and communicate consciously about intimacy.

Throughout this 90-day program (or take up to six months - work at your own pace) you’ll receive daily invitations (15 minutes of engagement on average) to deepen your relationship and create the intimacy you crave.

At key junctures, you’ll send me exercises you’ve completed and then schedule a coaching session to look together at what you discovered, and I’ll facilitate work to address what’s arising or create your next action plan for creating deeper love and intimacy. Clients find this targeted approach deeply transformative in a short amount of time.

You’ll also have access to optional Q&A calls and other sessions where I’ll guide you in practices like Sacred Dating, Weekly Couples’ Business Meetings, the Couples’ Stroking Practice, Self-Regulation and Co-Regulation, and more.  Those calls are also recorded and available in our private membership site, so you can access them anytime there OR through our private podcast, so you can listen to them in your favorite podcast player as you drive, shave, mow the lawn, or knead your sourdough (Kurt has starter if you need some!).