Instead of telling him, "I want you to touch me and lick me and penetrate me… But I'm mad at you, too." Instead of telling him, "I need you to take more time.  I need you to touch more places.  I need you to shine a light on my beauty, not just on your urge."

These are the four keys to creating more of the heat and connection you want and the single practice I use to help couples expand all four things in their relationship, and in so doing, create the love and sex they really deserve.

So often, couples will come to me and at least one of them will say, in essence, "I want to feel more turned on in this relationship” as if our turn-on were created by our partner and brought to us on a platter.  My experience is that turn-on is something we create within ourselves.

We are here to shine.  But how often do we give other women more permission to shine than we do ourselves?

Never give up on your turn-on.  Or your self-care.  Or your libido. I made this video on the fly yesterday as a celebration of my own perseverance.  I very much want it to be a shot in the arm for YOUR perseverance in living a turned-on life against (it seems!) all odds. 

Females are supposed to look innocent, prim, and chaste.  The ones who look openly sexy are "bad" and will be judged by others and are opening themselves up to sexual assault, which may be interpreted as their fault because of their provocative attire or flirtatious behavior.  Don't dress for beauty or sensuality or sexiness.  If you do, you will not be taken seriously, and you will get in trouble, if not danger.